Fortune Cookies

I once ate special chinese food
And learned that some guys are very rude.
I’ll tell you what my fortune read,
I’ll say exactly what it said.
All of You who eat with tools,
You need some help, you stupid fools.
If you eat with a plate, you’re out of date,
If you eat with a bowl, your head has holes.
If you eat with a cup, your brains screwed up.
If you eat with a pan, you’ree messed up, man.
If you eat with a pot, I hope you rot.
If you eat with a kettle, go eat metal..
If you eat with a vessel, your head’s a mess hole.
If you eat with a skillet, not millet will fill it.
If you eat with a dish, I hope you squish.
If you eat with a platter, you’re a lump of bladder.
If you eat with a spoon, you’re a goon.
If you eat with a fork, you’re a dork.
If you eat with a knife, get a life.
if you eat with a dipper, you’re as low as my slipper.
If you eat with a scoop, you’re just poop.
If you eat with a ladle, its fatal.
If you eat with a blade, you need some aid.
If you eat with a dagger, you’re such a nagger.
If you eat with your hand, you’re a curse to the land.
If you eat with a chopstick, you’re just plain sick.
If you eat with plastic, that’s fantastic!
I’m sarcastic, it’s actually drastic.
If you eat with metal, you’re like a nettle.
If you eat with foam, please go home.
If you eat with wood, that’s not good.
If you eat with steel, please get real.
If you eat at a table, your brain’s disabled.
If you eat on the floor, you’re a bore.
If you eat at a desk, you’re grotesque.
If you eat with your teeth, I’m going to seethe.
If you eat with your gum, you’re a bum.
If you eat with your mouth, go fly south.
If you listen to me, you’re as dumb as can be.
Jkc